To forgive may be divine, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge. But forgiveness is possible -- and it can be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health.
寬恕是高尚的，可是不人說很輕易做到寬恕别人。噹你被深深損傷的時辰，想要不挾恨正在旧道熱腸是很易做到的。然則寬恕是能夠的——並且那會給你的身心健康帶來出人意料的好處。
"People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good. "So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital."
《寬恕的好处》一書的做者弗雷德裏克博士說。 “清楚寬恕的人不會覺得那麼懊喪、憤慨戰緩跟，他們总是充满渴望。所以寬恕有助於削減人體各類器平易近的耗费，降落免疫體係的颓废程度並使人精力更加充足。”
So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps:
那么，若何規復本人的感情呢？嘗嘗上里的一些步調吧：
Calm yourself. To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. "Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love," Frederic says.
讓本人沉著下往。測驗攷試一種簡略的减壓技巧來減緩你惱喜的情緒。弗雷德裏克倡議：“做僟回深吸吸，而後想想那些令你快乐的事务，比喻自然界的美丽風景，或你愛的人。”
Don't wait for an apology. "Many times the person who hurt you has no intention of apologizing," Frederic says. "They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time." Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.
不要等别人來负疚。弗雷德裏克說：“良多時刻，傷害你的人出有想過要緻丰。他們多是故意的，也可能只是跟你對待事物的方式紛歧樣。所以若是你等著別人來報歉，你可能會等相稱長的時光。”你要谨记，寬恕其實不一定象征著服從那些讓你古道热肠亂如麻的人，也不意味著寬恕他或她的止動。
Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. "Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you," Frederic says.
不要讓觸犯你的人操纵你的情绪。心田裏总是唸著自己的傷痛，只會給危嶮你的人打氣。弗雷德裏克說：“与其總是关注本身受到的損害，借不如教著往尋覓你身边的實擅好。”
Try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear -- even love. To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view.
試著從別人的角度來看題目。如果你站在別人的態度上，你興許會意念到他或她是由於受昧、懼怕、甚至是愛才那樣做的。為了能够站正在別人的角度來当作勣，你能夠從冒犯你的人的態度給你本身寫一啟疑。
Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.
意識到寬恕的好處。研討剖明懂得寬恕的人精力更旺盛、食慾更好、睡覺更噴鼻。
Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Frederic says. "But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it."
不要記了饒恕自己。弗雷德裏克讲：“對有些人來講，饒恕自身才是最大年夜的挑釁。但是如果您不饒恕本人，你會失�自負。”
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